


I have never loved a darker blue than the darkness I have known in you

by LaVoileBlanche



Series: Outside the world seems a violent place [3]
Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon Gay Relationship, Charlie is an alien and it shows, Established Relationship, M/M, POV Matteusz, Post s01e04: Co-Owners of a Lonely Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8486497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaVoileBlanche/pseuds/LaVoileBlanche
Summary: Title from Hozier's "Better Love".





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hozier's "Better Love".

Matteusz blinks awake. The room is still dark around him - it’s the middle of the night, but when he reaches out for Charlie, he finds the bed cold. He pushes himself up against the pillows, rubbing a hand blearily over his eyes.

“Charlie?”

Charlie is standing in front of the mysterious Cabinet, the shape of him just kissed by the moonlight that spills in pools from the balcony. He looks up at Matteusz’s voice, and half-smiles.

“I’m here,” he says. “Don’t worry.”

Matteusz frowns at him.

“Are you coming back to bed?”

“In a minute,” Charlie says. “I’m just…”

He lets his voice trail off, and Matteusz's frown deepens. He climbs out of bed, and pads across the dark room to Charlie’s side.

“What is wrong?” he asks. He runs a soothing hand down the side of Charlie’s bare arm, and glances at the Cabinet. Charlie’s eyes flutter closed, then open again, and he fixes Matteusz with a look.

“Do you think I’m a monster?” he asks, and for a second, Matteusz is speechless. Charlie keeps going. “Tanya does. And I know you’re still angry with me for lying, and for this”  – he gestures to the Cabinet  – “but I _am_ trying. To do the right thing.”

He looks up at Matteusz, and in the dark, his eyes are a darker blue than he’s seen before.

“I do not think you are a monster,” he says softly. Charlie searches his face for the truth of it. Matteusz slides his hand down his arm again, and entwines their fingers together. His skin is cold - he wonders how long he had been awake before Matteusz had realised.

“It’s Miss Quill,” Charlie says, and he takes on a frustrated, confiding tone, like he needs Matteusz to understand this. Like he’s been keeping it a secret for too long. “I know she’s been helping us. She saved Tanya’s life, with the Lankin, and there’s no way we’re going to be able to get Ram and April back without her, but you don’t know what she was like, Matteusz. Back on our planet. The things she did…”

His gaze goes far away for a moment and before he pulls it back, he looks much older than he is. When he looks at Matteusz again, there’s something hard in his eyes that Matteusz wonders if he’ll ever understand.

“She deserves to be punished,” Charlie says. “I’ve seen slavery here and I know what you people think of when you hear her say it, but I promise you it’s not the same. She’s a war criminal, she’s not - it’s not the same.”

The look on his face, the fact that he so clearly believes what he’s saying - it makes Matteusz wonder what Miss Quill can possibly have done to warrant such judgement. Charlie, who is routinely oblivious to the most obvious social cues, who still has to google pop culture references and who has invited Matteusz into his home and kissed him with such aching sweetness, is capable of being so starkly, suddenly alien that Matteusz almost can’t believe it.

“Maybe,” he says, and puts his spare hand on the back of Charlie’s neck. “That does not mean is right, though.”

Charlie closes his eyes, and Matteusz lets him lean his head forward until it is resting against his collarbone. He takes a long, shuddering breath, and Matteusz feels the shiver of it all along his skin.

“I am trying,” he says. “The human way.”  
  
“I know,” Matteusz answers him, and strokes his fingers through his hair. “Is hard, no?”

Charlie laughs, a short, quiet puff of noise against Matteusz’s chest.

“Yes,” he says, “it’s hard.”

Matteusz pulls back just far enough that Charlie has to look up at him again, then puts a hand on his jaw and guides him into a soft, searching kiss.

“Come,” he murmurs against Charlie’s mouth, “bed is cold without you. Existential crises can wait ‘til morning.”

He leads him by the hand back to bed, and they lie together, Charlie’s head pillowed on his chest, his arm over his waist. Matteusz watches his face relax into sleep, the regal features his eyes have traced so often smoothing out into unconsciousness. He tries not to think about Miss Quill or the Shadowkin, about Ram and April and the time bomb ticking away inside the Cabinet on the other side of the room. He tightens his arm around Charlie and focuses on only this, the weight, the comforting warmth of him, his slow and even breaths. His strange and awful alien boyfriend, and the surefooted love he feels for him. He closes his eyes. Existential crises can wait until the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is probably the most prolific week of fic-writing I've ever had in my life. Thanks, Class. 
> 
> I really love Charlie and Matteusz, but I think it's obvious that there is going to be a lot of angst, sooner or later. This, I suppose, is me trying to prepare for that.
> 
> Again, find me on tumblr - queer-z0mbies.tumblr.com - if you want to have a chat.


End file.
